Classroom 208

Goodbyes are a hard fact of life.

This past week, I had to say good-bye to Room 208. Room 208 has been my classroom for the past 3 years. It was my first ever classroom to serve as a homeroom for my first two graduating classes. It was the first classroom that became my domain for teaching reading to 8th grade in. It was the classroom where I laughed, cried, yelled, danced, and listened with students in. It was the classroom where I found out from the doctor that I was pregnant after waiting for so long. I absolutely loved this classroom.

Room 208 has been my home and last week I packed up all my things to put into storage because I will be moving positions and coming back in the middle of the year. It was a strange feeling taking down bulletin boards, putting books away, packing up my desk, and making sure it was left clean for the next occupant. My heart was heavy and saddened knowing that the room and job I love so much is changing.

Goodbyes may be a hard fact of life, but hellos can be far better.

This past week, I realized that I have something far more important to plan for than Room 208 and teaching Literature. I get to have the important and honoring task of being a mother to my very own baby girl. A baby girl that I get to say hello to in 10 weeks. I may be loosing something that I completely love, but I am gaining something that I will love with all of my heart.

And who knows, it is possible that the next classroom I say hello to, will serve me even better memories.

Endings and Beginnings: A Tribute to Lucy

Four years ago, Matthew and I took in my parent's dog, a Golden Retriever named, Lucy. At the time she was 10 years old. My mom asked me if Matt and I wouldn't mind keeping her for the summer, the summer turned into four years. Yesterday, we said good-bye to Lucy. Lucy was more that just a dog to Matthew and I, she was our family, our buddy, our pal.

Her sickness came on quickly, in matter of three days, her hind legs went from giving out on her occasionally on Wednesday to losing the ability to walk completely Friday. The vet said she had neurological issues. We knew her life had served it's purpose Friday morning when she was unable to walk herself outside for her morning pee. I immediately contacted my family, her first family that raised her from puppy, to let them know of Lucy's condition. Friday night was spent with my brother Taylor and Fiance Jamie, my sister Hailey (who actually spent the night and was there when Lucy passed), Matt, and myself. My siblings were there to say their good-byes; Matthew and I were grateful that Lucy  had people around her who loved her.

Lucy lived a full 14 years and a great life. A life I would like to share a glimpse of...

She loved my husband deeply and wouldn't be content until he came home. She was especially his buddy, his pal.
She was a silly dog, who was afraid of brooms, rakes, lawn mowers, vacuum cleaners, swiffer wet jets, and thunderstorms. We would often find her tucked into our closet during thunderstorms when we came home from wherever we were.
She loved any sort of human contact or the rub down, as Matt called it.
She was always eager to see who came in the door when we had company. She loved sniffing every inch of our guests, always wagging her tail. She just loved people.
She was a gentle spirit, never to bite a single soul. Even when we played "rough" she never bit down if our fingers were near her mouth.
She had to be where ever Matt and I were, if we were outside she wanted out, if we were inside she wanted in. Often she would follow us around the house or yard, just to be close.
She had two favorite toys and both of them happen to be stuffed owls. They were called her two "Hooties". She took them everywhere.
She absolutely adored going on walks. I wish I had taken more walks with her.
She had many nicknames, mostly given by Matt: Lucy Goosey Pudding Pie, Little Lamb, Lucy Love Button, and Monkey.
She will be greatly missed. We are happy to have been her caretakers for the past four years. She couldn't have been a better dog and friend.

She was a huge part of our marriage, 4 out of our almost 5 years, and we considered her our practice daughter. She was a huge comfort to us, while we waited to get pregnant and was always there for us when we needed someone to talk to. She was our perfect transition into parenthood because in just four short months a new life will come into our lives that will give us so much more joy than we can imagine. And knowing my husband, our daughter will be his new Little Lamb.

Thankful Heart

What I have learned through this journey is that it is REALLY easy to be happy with God when things are going well. Even after accepting the fate of having to deal with IVF, I still had times when life was going pretty well and it was easy for me to just thank God for all he has done. It is most hard for me to thank God in times of pain or suffering because I feel that I am all alone and that He doesn't really care what is happening to me or that He is letting this happen, so I must have done something wrong. Deep down I know that it must be for a reason (usually the reason is only to make me stronger and honor Him) and I am still learning those lessons. Now, months later, I can begin see how He worked through my suffering. 

I can see that His hand was a part of the whole journey. I thank Him for letting me born in a time period when doctors and medicine allow for such miracles to take place in science. Actually, I thank Him for giving humans such amazing brains that they can even think of ideas and procedures such as IVF. It wasn't even 40 years ago that couples who were infertile even had the choice to have there own children through procedures like IVF. That is just pretty amazing!

I thank Him for protecting me through the different procedures that I had to undergo and all the potential complications that doctors always scare you with. I am really beginning to despise those potential complications especially now that I am going in for prenatal check-ups. Is it really necessary to tell me every little thing that COULD happen to me or the baby!  Ignorance really is bliss.

I thank Him for giving me peace that I couldn't or can't explain through the waiting or the "I have no idea if I will ever have children" period. Phillipians 4:7 makes complete sense to me now, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I honestly don't know what I would have done if I let my mind go crazy. There probably would have been way more tears and anger towards couples who can get pregnant on their own. 


I could go on an on about how God's timing was perfect and different things happened that made the journey even better in the end, but I am not. I just thank God for being God! A God who loves his children unconditionally, who is a Father that teaches His children many life lessons only so that we can have a full and abundant life through Him. I mean if God just gave me whatever I wanted, when I wanted it, I would be a spoiled, brat that just expected everything to happen in my timing. I am glad that life isn't about that. Life is a learning and growing process. Every experience makes a person who they are. I wouldn't want to change who I am now because that would change the abundant life that God had planned for me. 


Just one last thing that is my mind is blown by....

The first image is of my little girl at 8 weeks. At that point she didn't yet have definable gender parts, so we didn't know if she was a boy or girl. She looks like a blob or teddy gram as the sonogram lady said, but you can see she has a head and body. She also had a detectable heartbeat, that was beating around 160 beats per minutes. Mind blown...this little human developing without arms and legs yet,  has a heartbeat!!! The part of humans that allows us to survive!

The second image is of my little girl at 18 weeks, just 10 short weeks later. She now has detectable gender parts and can be recognized as a baby girl! She has definable features and has grown like crazy. She is around 6 inches and in the first image she wasn't even an inch! Her heartbeat is still around 160 because she is growing so fast! She is also starting to show personality! Do you see her two little fingers making the peace symbol? She is giving her mom and dad a show! She definitely has some of her father in her!!

She is a life. She is a little human life growing to come and be something awesome in this world. How can you question a God who shows off His glory in this way? How could you doubt His existence when every day human lives are formed in a mother's womb? This is the stuff that gives me chills about my Heavenly Father!