Beauty from Ashes

Summer certainly flies by. It's been a while since I last posted, partly because I have been super busy taking care of my house, and mostly because I wasn't inspired to write about anything.

This past week has been one of those turning points when encountering a challenge in life. I am proud and super happy to say OUR FLOORS ARE FINALLY FINISHED AND BEAUTIFUL! I have been waiting since April to have my house feel like my home again. It is so surreal now, sitting at my kitchen table thinking back to that Thursday night when the flood gates opened and water came pouring up from the crawl space into my lovely home, with perfectly sanded and stained, beautiful, oak wood floors! Upon walking back into my house after spending a week with my parents, I had no idea what to expect. I couldn't even imagine how my house could go from disaster zone to my new peaceful paradise. My expectation and imagination didn't not even come close to the reality of what I walked in to. My jaw dropped and my heart skipped a beat. It was love at first sight! I may be sounding a bit ridiculous right now, but I am seriously trying to emphasize the drastic change of appearance my house just underwent.

Having our floors turn out this gorgeous represents much more to me than having eye candy to look at when sitting on the couch in the living room. It represents that beauty does come from ashes and good things do come to those who wait and all those other silly sayings that my mom said ARE TRUE! It may seem like a small victory in the big picture of my home's life, but it was a huge battle won in my heart. I know that I was meant to go though that horrible experience of my house flooding because in the end it taught me that God's plans are better than I can imagine. In the moment of the flood it was not fun and I thought what could be worse, but seeing what became of the effects of the flood actually made the experience worth it. I have a new found hope in my relationship with God and in the journey that He has me on. If God can do all this for our house, I can't even imagine what He will do for our own little family. May small victories in life give you encouragement and hope in the battles of life. God is AWESOME!

You gotta go through the mess to get to the good.

What does one do when they have 8 weeks of vacation? Projects! After having 4 dehumidifiers and the AC running for 3 1/2 weeks our floors are finally ready to be refinished! I can not even explain how happy I am about this. My house has been in turmoil since the flood back in April. Yesterday, my husband and I got some projects done around the house and yard. You would think that my husband would be the one pulling up old linoleum and tile floors and I would be the one outside planting the new bushes and plants, but it was quite the opposite. I pulled up all the floors and scraped up most of the old tar off of the wood floors in the kitchen/dining area and foyer by myself. After the job was done for the day and I had time to process what was going on; I actually got a little unnerved about the whole situation. I really liked my house the way it was before the flood. I liked the warmth of the carpets. I liked having my house neat and orderly. I liked that my 13 year old puppy could walk on the floors without slipping and freaking out. I liked living in a home that was pretty much project free. Now my house is one, big, hot mess! There is boxes of books, pictures, and kitchen supplies packed away. There is furniture in rooms where it doesn't belong. Dust and the smell of tar have invaded my once, warm and inviting space. There is no room in the house that I actually feel the sense of comfort that one's home should bring.

My husband usually knows how to bring me comfort after I express to him that I am stressed out and feeling depressed about the whole situation. He said to me, "You gotta go through the mess to get to the good." Such simple words, yet so profound. I do have to go through the mess and I have been. I am ready for the good to come out of all this. Not just with the flood, but dealing with infertility too. I am ready for good reports from the doctor, beginning my first round of IVF, a positive pregnancy test, buying decorations for a baby room, and clean, refinished wood and tile floors!

Foyer floors after old tile has been removed

Kitchen floors 

Reflections

So being a teacher has a lot of wonderful perks; summer vacation being one of them. Two blissful months of relaxation, reading books (for pleasure), going to the cottage, vacationing, and catching up with long lost friends. Summer to me is also a time for reflecting on my past year's experiences. This year has definitely been one to go down in the history of my life as long-suffering. It's been full of surprises and challenges I did not see coming. 

Starting out with the Strike of the Chicago Teacher's Union. I had already been working for 6 weeks at the time of the strike because my school was an early start school. I had already invested hours into planning, teaching, and getting to know my students. The strike lasted for an entire week and two days of work and time away from my students. I had been teaching my Hero's Journey Unit at that time and remember feeling stressed about loosing coherency when teaching the novel my students had been reading in Literature Circles. The strike was such a challenge for me emotionally and physically. I am glad that is over, done, and out of here!

Finding out I can't have children naturally was challenge number two and obviously still on going. My very first appointment to check to see what was going on with me was the same exact day the strike was over and my students were coming back to school. My body decided not to cooperate that day and I had to push back the appointment to the next month. Looking back, I know that was a God thing. He knew my mind was on those kids and seeing them was more important than being at the doctors. Good thing, because when I did find out my fate I would not have been able to go into work late and teach. I was not mentally capable of doing so. 

Taking off work for a week to have surgery was a challenge as well. I expected to bounce right back into the swing of things because I had only had an out-patient surgery. Apparently, I don't react well to anesthesia. I really hope I never have to have surgery again! Thankfully, I have such a great grade level team and administration that was completely understanding and covered for me while I was out, not to mention the students concern and kindness towards me when I did come back. 

Flooding was a total shock and surprise this past year as well. My husband and I are still dealing with the mess. Our entire house needs to be dehumidified before we can redo our wood floors. Summer vacations are also a time for getting things taken care of that full time working people can't normally do. 

Dealing with the delay(s) of beginning my first round of IVF is completely difficult for me and I am beginning to doubt that there is even an end to this road. Waiting is so tortuous! This may sound crazy, but seeing and holding all my friend's new babies has been encouraging. Some of my friends have had struggles like me and seeing the end of their journey to becoming a mother is a huge testimony to me of God's faithfulness. 

I know this is getting ridiculously long, but bare with me. I am almost done. 

I can also look back and see many of God's blessings. This year wasn't all that bad. I became a homeroom teacher for the first time. This was the best year for it. My students gave me so much joy and kept me strong during my weakest moments. I don't know what I would have done with out them. The best part of my year was receiving thank you letters for being a great teacher from a few students. It made the whole process worth it because I know I did my job of being a teacher that made somewhat of a difference in their lives.

I have also experienced such an abundance of peace and understanding from God. I can't understand how I could hold it together sometimes and be as sane as I was. I only know that kind of attitude comes from God.   I can only praise Him through my storms. 

My family and friends have really shown their love for Matt and I as well. I am so blessed to have such a huge support system and people who really care to show that they are praying for us and love us. I can't imagine how a person survives without family. 

I have rambled on a while, but it certainly felt good to reflect.