A little Godsend this Mother's Day

For the past couple of years Mother's Day has been a time of strong emotion for me. It is a hard fact to sit and see all the mom's wearing their homemade jewelry or flowers from their children or to have the pastor announce that all moms get a flower on their way out of church. I yearn for the Mother's Day I can sit in church with a homemade necklace from a child of mine. 

This year I think that God knew it would be hard for me too, so I believe He sent me a present. I didn't realize it was a present at first, but after telling my mom the story she said that it had to of been a Godsend. Today while my students, or kids as I like to call them, were working on a project I reminded them that it was Mother's Day weekend. I told them not to forget about their moms and to give them a hug and a kiss. A couple minutes later one of my female students came up to me and gave me a giant hug and said, "Happy Mother's Day Mrs. Loerop!" I was taken aback because my students know that I don't have children. I said, "I don't have kids." She then replied, "Yes you do. You have 23 kids!" It took all I had in me not to cry when she said that. 

I guess God wanted me to know that I already am a mom. I am a mom to 110 8th graders. 23 of which are in my homeroom whom I greet in the morning and say "Behave yourselves" on their way out the door every day. They are my kids whom I love and love to be with. My kids bring me joy and I am blessed to have them in my life for the short while that they are in 8th grade.

I am learning that Mother's Day is for all women. You don't have to birth a child to be a mother. Mothers come in different forms. I just happen to be a "mom" for 7 hours of my day to 110 teenagers. 

Better than I can imagine...

There are many lessons or "things" that I have learned from being in my late 20s that I didn't really care about or pay attention to while I was having fun in my early 20s. Starting out with the fact that once you "own" a house it kinda owns you. Mortgage and taxes are just part of the story...mice, ants, spiders, broken front door locks, bees in the master bedroom, and over flowing utility sinks have consumed my happy home. Another fact would be, if I stay up past 9 pm my whole body aches the next day. When did that happen! I remember pulling all-nighters in college without even a yawn. But the biggest fact or lesson I have learned, is NOTHING happens the way you imagine it to work out. When I was in high school, I imagined getting married while I was in college or immediately after and having my first baby by the time I was 25. None of that actually happened. I got married 2 years after college (I guess you could consider that immediately, but I figured I would be like 23 not 25) and I am pushing 29 with no baby in sight. Life hasn't worked out exactly the way I imagined it, and that can lead to stress and thinking life will never meet my expectations.

 Learning to let go and let God take over has been one of the hardest things for me to do. After learning that my first IVF cycle was going to be pushed back to after May sometime, I decided it was high time for me to let it go. I realized I had been trying to control this entire process.  I was completely stressed out and consumed with getting pregnant. I even quit going to Bible Study because I thought I should have a break to stay completely relaxed (I am back in Bible Study). So here's what I have to say, "Have your way, God! You're going to do what You want anyway!" I am learning that God's will is always best even when I can't imagine how it could be. In the end, I will win and find extreme joy in the entire situation. The ride isn't always going to be the way I would have wanted it, but because I know in my heart that it's what God wants, the ride does get easier. My prayer is that if you are also struggling with God's plan for your life, you find the peace that can transcend all understanding as I am learning to find.

Encouraging Words

I came across some very profound words today. I am sure that I have heard this before and deep down I know that they are true, but today I felt very encouraged by them. Here's what I came across,

"God has a task for you--one He planned very long ago and suited for our present generation....God desires for us to encourage one another in our tasks, but we are responsible only for completing our own." (Beth Moore). 

I think I found them so encouraging because they just reiterate the fact that God does everything with a purpose. I don't know what role infertility will play in my life (or maybe it's playing a role right now), but I do know there has got to be some purpose. If you find yourself struggling like me, I hope you are encouraged by these words too. Who knows why God does the things He does with our lives, but just knowing that it was planned out very long ago to be used in the generation that we are currently living in gives me the chills.