A Year later...

It's been exactly one year since Matthew and I began our journey together to have a family. A year ago, I was a completely different person. A year ago, if some one told me that they were pregnant, I probably would have cried. A year later, the pain still hits, but I am less likely to cry and more likely to listen to praise and worship music. A year ago, I felt hopeless. A year later, I feel extremely hopeful and completely filled with peace.  A year ago, I was scared and felt a lone in my struggle. A year later, I am confident and have built many new relationships and even made old ones stronger. A year ago, I didn't know if I would be a mom. A year later, I am certain in God's plan.

God has given me so much strength through my pain. He is the reason I can say all those things. He is the reason that I know I will be a mom. As much as this process has been painful and on-going, I know that God has my back. Good things will come and I can't wait to share how Matt and my story unfolds.  But for now, I just want to praise and thank God for never leaving me and for always giving me peace. I know from personal experience that letting yourself get the "best" of you is never going to be the best way to deal with pain. Letting yourself be completely filled with fear and anger will never make you feel better. I know.  Letting go of yourself and letting God fill you with love and peace is the only way I can honestly say will get you through your time of suffering.